From the Client: “I have an upcoming meeting with the CEO of my organization about my team and the work that we have been doing. I want this meeting to go well both as an opportunity to showcase my team’s efforts but also as an opportunity to highlight my career development within the company. Sometimes in high stakes situations such as these, I let my nerves get the best of me and the interaction does not go as planned. This is one interaction I want to appear confident and composed – what can I do?”

From the Coach’s Corner: Not to worry, your situation is one that we have all faced, letting our nerves and anxiety get the best of us. For some of us this can occur during a meeting with a C-suite member. For others, disruptive situations can include public speaking before a large audience, giving difficult performance feedback, or dealing with a hostile, resistant client. Like any athlete about to step onto a tough playing field, remember the four P’s to increase your confidence and composure for any interaction. 

Step One: Preparation: What you do before the “game” can make all the difference in how it turns out. Consider the outcome you would like. Is this interaction about relationship building? About selling? Or ensuring recognition for the team? Be clear on your hopes and expectations. Then, couple your hopes with the needs and concerns of your audience. Given your CEO’s view of the organization, he/she will likely care more about the results your team has produced and the impact on the overall business than the technical detail of the processes you are involved in. Have key messages in your “back pocket” so that they are accessible throughout the interaction.

Step Two: Pre-Interaction Ritual: When we lose our composure, a physiological response usually manifests; we speed up talking, turn red in the face, or fidget in our chairs. The best offense is therefore having a “ritual,” which centers you physiologically before the interaction begins. The most classic form of centering is spending some time consciously breathing before you walk in. Other clients have found listening to music, reading a favorite quote, or light stretching useful. When possible, go to the room early and feel comfortable with the physical space itself. For meetings, consider your seat and position at the table. For presentations, be sure to check the acoustics, layout, and design of the room itself.

Step Three: Present-moment Course Correcting: What can you do if you still get thrown off in the middle of the interaction? Before throwing in the towel too soon, get present to what is going on and course-correct. Know your own red flags—do you start to speak louder and get defensive? Do you clam up and hope the interaction will end soon? Once you know you have been “triggered,” anchor back into the conversation. A physical anchor such as simply pressing your foot into the ground can get you “out of your head” and back into the game. Another benefit to being fully in the “game” (versus being disengaged or lost in negative emotion) is you are able to be more open and flexible to what the stakeholder is saying or how your audience is responding. By being open and receptive to what is happening, you can adapt more easily or find ways of bridging your key messages to their needs and concerns.

Step Four: Post-Interaction Diagnosis: After the interaction, spend some time consciously making note of what went well or what did not. What worked effectively? What were key messages that worked well? What did not go well? What could you have done differently before or during the interaction? What will you take away from this that can help you prepare for future similar situations? By integrating your learning from each experience, you ensure adding to your repertoire and expanding in your leadership communication abilities. Champion athletes become masters at their game through continual practice, knowing their strengths and weaknesses, and stepping onto the field time and again. Likewise, great leaders know the value of self management, experimenting to find the techniques that work best for them, and being open to new experiences to keep growing.

Amy Jen Su is the co-founder and principal of Isis Associates (www.isisiassociates.com), an executive coaching and leadership development firm specializing in transforming emerging leaders into exceptional leaders. You can reach her at info@isisassociates.com.